Strike doomsday scenarios, ranked


NDP wins the election; incoming premier Andrea Horwath refuses to intervene in the strike; classes are suspended indefinitely; Rhonda jumps to a high-paying job in the private sector; hard feelings among remaining admin, students, and faculty mean no settlement is possible; strike drags on for years; admissions plummet; York runs out of money and closesIn solidarity with CUPE, disgruntled UIT worker scrapes all YorkU email accounts and dumps them to Wikileaks; turns out an unbelievable number of York admin, faculty, and students are into hentai; everyone is grossed out; applications and admissions plummet; York runs out of money and closesAfter a long and exhausting day of not negotiating, Rhonda leans back in her fancy president chair; this puts too much pressure on a spring, which shatters; metal shrapnel flies into nearby electrical outlet, shorting it and causing a fire; coincidentally at that moment the city decides to shut off the water due to non-payment of water bill; Kaneff tower burns to the ground; fire spreads; university destroyedConservatives win the election; incoming premier Rob Ford appoints boy wonder Sam Oosterhoff as the new Minister of Higher Education; looking at York, Oosterhoff says "If I didn't need university to get where I am, nobody should, so I'm closing all universities and colleges in the province, problem solved"; superbug wipes out the population of Ontario because there are no more doctors or nursesParticle physics grad student on the picket line suddenly remembers he left an experiment running at the beginning of the strike; he tries to race back to the physics building to shut it off but other picketers shame him for trying to cross the picket line; experiment keeps increasing energy and density, out of control; experiment reaches energies and densities comparable to the Big Bang, piercing the very fabric of time and space; metastable vacuum decay occurs; vacuum decay bubble expands at the speed of light, destroying the universe via /r/yorku https://ift.tt/2GYb5fa

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