The Chronicles of Fovos: An Untamed World by Bat Dorf (Entry 2)

The weeks continue to go by as our colony pushes on. Our hunters have gathered enough rations to hold the colony at bay and the builders continue to construct the local farm. Father Randolf and I decided to seek out a nice juicy tree so he could build a shrine to his godtest and I could build a bulletin board in the town square. We ventured out no more than 10 minutes and found the juiciest of hickory trees. As father began hacking, something else began smacking. We went to investigate and found two more of them damn birds flapping over an elk while a qute wittle bwood hound was trying to protect the wittle fella. I tried to offer the owls a nut the size of my frickin head, but they weren’t interested. There must of been a worm or something behind me because one swooped down and hit the dirt behind me. Father Randolf then beat it up because I don’t know and the other one tried to fly away with the elk. I told an owl joke that was a real “hoot” and the owl started laughing and dropped the elk. I noticed that the owls had killed the elk by now and decided to put it out of its misery. We killed the owls, collected the meat, and brought the dog back with us. Her name is Twig now and she has a collar with a twig and one of the owl feathers. She my best friend. We built the shrine and bulletin board and thought it’d be nice to train Twig so we brought her out to the forest. We had Twig sniff some meat and Father Randolf “ranned off” (hehe) with it. Twig had a really hard time tracking, but we did find some weird goat men arguing in the woods. When they heard us they hid, but I started playing my pan flute and they had pan flutes and they started playing their pan flutes and we had a jam sesh and it was awesome and then we got tired and went to sleep and they frickin stole my candles while we were sleeping. It was sleep sleep time when we woke up. When Twig was leading us back home we saw a little blue light flying toward us. My first reaction was Ahhh mine mine, but then I remembered, I can’t risking losing any more candles tonight. The blue light started ringing and we all ran. Twig ran off into the woods and when I ran after her the blue thing caught up and frickin shocked the frickin frick out of me. Father Randolf and I ran out of the woods and I was about to pass out and Twig was gone and the whiskt wisk disengrated. I cried and waited by Twig’s bowl playing her favorite music all night on the edge of town. The next day Father Randolf and I went and found Twig. She was barking at an owl in a tree. I was walking away with Twig and hear a huge frickin crack and Fat Dolf is standing there like a boss because he just quadruble nega blitz kicked this hoe ass bird in the gullet. Next day, Daf, Fat Dolf, and I venture out once again into the Blue Woods. We traveled for I don’t know how long when we came to this river flowing and stuff. We found these big trees who were shaking hands and decided we would walk across their arms. While on the trees I could see these black pits and said “hey guys, black pits!” And so we decided we’d go there. Fat Dolf fell into the water and Daf swanned dived into the river in the most graceful yet manly way possible. Once we all got down, we journeyed to the pits where there were skeletons and other things coming out of the bubbilily goopy gooo. Then, we saw a little “gnome” man playing with a pan flute. I hid, but Daf and Fat Dolf approached him. I eventually jumped out of the bush and we talked about playing pan flute. He seemed nice and challenged me to a friendly pan flute contest. He pulled out a solid yellow pan flute and played that real nice. I lost and he took my pan flute. He offered double or nothing or he steals my soul for all eternity so I can be in his weird boy band. When I shook his hand he turned into the most emo looking middle school drop out hentai wannabe. I lost again and broke my pan flute. Then, as I was under his trance, he gave Daf and Fat Dolf the chance to free me if one of them kissed him. Daf nobly kissed him and we watched as his life was sucked out of his body. Fat Dolf insisted we leave him, but I pleaded we brought him back to the town for a proper burial. We got him to the river and were very much struggling. We tried making a swinging contraption, but I fell in and almost drowned. The sun was dying fast and we didn’t want to be caught in the woods alone or we’d end up like Daf. We buried him at the foot of the tree along side the river. The sun was setting and the light was shining through the trees. Father Randolf carved a grave stone for him in the tree. The grass was green and the river sounded so soothing. There are worse resting places. We plan on honoring his life and will hold a funeral in the future. Long live the spirit of Daf. And remember kids, don’t kiss strangers in the woods. via /r/fovos

Postar um comentário

0 Comentários