New User, 7 Days without PMO, Background Story, Need Advice


I've been watching porn since I was twelve, and thirteen years later, I've been having trouble with abstaining from porn. Shit started to change a year later, and the next year, and the year after that and so on. We're talking tastes, of course. Starting with straight and lesbian porn, before moving onto animated porn including hentai and cartoons of video game characters I used to play as on my consoles, then gay porn, and it was all disturbing how it escalated into darker territory for me. In 2010, I was 17 going on 18, and I began to realise that something wasn't right. It wasn't until 2013 where I would discover a site called YourBrainOnPorn.com, and I would read articles regularly, and even tried to stop PMO several times since then. Most of the time, I got no further than about two weeks, and would just give up and get back into the habit of porn. Last year, I went two and a half weeks and flat-lined. I tried so many methods to get myself back in shape, but I was starting to think "Am I actually gay? Am I attracted to men or these disturbing sexual images I've never liked in real life? Am I not the straight guy I always thought I was?". My life had been sinking and led me to anxiety and paranoia, thinking that I might've seen something that might be considered illegal and get locked up for it. ItSo, I've decided to start an account and try and concentrate on the ninety days of NoFap. Today marks the seventh day of no PMO, and I've been doing everything I could do to avoid looking at anything even considered suggestive. I've unfollowed pornstars/nude models on Instagram, I've hidden posts on my timeline on Facebook, I've deleted any anime that had some sort of fanservice, I've done a lot this time, as opposed to the last few times I've tried. Even though it's been a whole week since I've masturbated, watched porn and orgasmed, there have been times where I've accidentally seen posters in the city of underwear models, found a half naked girl covering herself on Instagram/Facebook or even old paintings in museums of women showing a bit of breast with their nipples visible in the painting. Whenever I did, I would turn away or look at something else. Last night, I went to see Cradle of Filth, and their large banner of their latest album "Cryptoriana: The Seductiveness of Decay" was so clear to see with the band in front of it, as they performed. So, I tried drawing more attention to the band and try not to look at the naked woman on the cover. For a band like Cradle of Filth, it's almost unavoidable to find some form of nudity in their artwork, and the same goes for many different metal bands.I've enjoyed ASMR videos as well, but I've found out yesterday that a lot of fapstronauts on here highly suggest to avoid them, as they can have some unintentionally sexual stimuli to them. I usually try and turn to music and video games (and skip or block my eyes and ears to the sexual components) as a way to distract myself from the urges. But, whenever I unintentionally see something suggestive for even a split second, I keep thinking to myself "Do I have to reboot again? This is so hard! I don't know what to do!". Not to mention, 70% of my thoughts are of sexual images, videos I've seen, from lesbian to gay to hentai to everything under the sun and it's been so difficult to purge those thoughts by trying to think of something different that's considered cleaner for my brain. So, here I am on NoFap as what has felt like a good decision and somewhat of a last resort for me to make. I just need some advice on what I can do to distract myself and reboot after the last thirteen years of porn addiction, masturbating, orgasm and such.There have been many NoFap videos I've watched from the likes of OnePercentBetter, Seth Alexander, Improvement Pill and more. They've been helpful, but I've felt as though I need to take part in this online community and seek for some help. I have been to a psychologist and took advice from him on how to improve and treat my porn addiction, but nothing was helpful to me, no matter how many times I've tried. But, anyway, that's my story, and I'm gonna try and keep a diary of what's going on, on a daily basis. Appreciate any suggestions, strategies, etc. that you guys have to offer. Thanks for taking the time to read my story. via /r/NoFap https://ift.tt/2KhCmL2

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