[2790] Kalir's Demise

So I've been struggling to write this for weeks and I finally finished it yesterday and I don't know how I feel about it.This is part of my work-in-progress high-fantasy book which I'm aiming at a YA audience, I don't use chapters for the first drafts so everything is sectioned off by the "***".https://ift.tt/2DW0svM part, in particular, is the introduction of a new culture into the world so while also continuing the main antagonist's plan of a global takeover via his allies attacking the various continents. This attack is from the POV of Kalir, he's completely new to this story and isn't the attacker but victim that unknowingly brings the threat into the underground city of Azeot along with some returning traders. It was difficult, to say the least, and I'm not sure if I've pulled it off, but as it was Kalir's POV, I wanted to keep the reader in the dark about what's happening until the end where it's revealed to Kalir himself.I split this piece into two sections: Retrieving the crystals and the Paths to Azeot because it was easier to write it that way, the first half detailing Kalir's personality while also explaining the Gozi and Azeot, while the second half is split into "snapshot" moments which further show Azeot as we're actually there.I think I'd like thoughts on the pacing, on Kalir's character, how I've introduced Azeot and the Gozi and ultimately if you think that keeping the reveal until the end paid off.Posts I've critiqued:https://ift.tt/2S9ROg1 via /r/DestructiveReaders https://ift.tt/2QhPEO5

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