A Neckbeard sights me at work.


Hello Everyone, this is my first time posting to Reddit and I'm on mobile. So I apologize for any spelling errors you may encounter on this Tale of Neckbeardiness.This was my first experience with a Neckbeard -- and it was everything I could have hoped and dreaded for.Lets introduce some Characters.Me; Gator: Female 20, a whole 5'9" of West-Chicago Sass with Curly hair and glasses. A little bit on a thicker side of things. (I got hips and they do not lie)Smokey: My Manager and Supervisor of my department. We shoot the shit together and complain about all the new people (mostly the teens).And finally, the Hero of our story. I will call him Liftbeard for reasons to be discovered later.Onto the Story, then.For a little bit of context, I work part-time in a Clothing Store and we always hire a ton of new people for the Holiday season. Usually its either teenagers looking for a little bit of extra cash, but we do find a few diamonds in the rough.I usually work Back Room/Receiving Position. For those who don't like dealing with customers, I highly recommend. It's a lot of physical work but entirely worth it.My Morning started out pretty normally; My team and I unloaded our truck, set aside all the merchandise that needed to be pushed out. Then half of us went to work on Clothing, and the other half set about cleaning the mess from the truck.Smokey comes up while I'm sweeping and asks if I can push out Domestics (Pillows and Blankets ect.) I say of coarse, grab a bin and fill it up before going. This is where I come across Liftbeard.As I round the corner into Sheets, I spot the most textbook specimen of Neckbeard. I was both overjoyed, and yet filled with dread. Never was there anyone of such Caliber to be found in my small town. But then again, my small town is in the middle of four other larger towns. The only thing connecting us all is one strip of Highway.Sorry, I'm rambling. Liftbeard was a short, portly man with a scraggly, pube-esque beard that never passed his chin (wherever it was). Wearing cargo shorts (its Winter), classic Dad sneakers, a trenchcoat, and a Fedora on top of greasy dark hair. No pegasus feather sticking out, however. It was just your average black fedora.I seem to startle him when I turn the corner. How, I'm not sure. You can hear the bins before you see them. But he jumps a little when He sees me. Thats when I see his shirt.No, It had no anime girl scantily clad on it. It had no wolf howling at the moon. No. What it said was, "I survived Boku no Pico." For those who don't know, BnP is a Crossdress Loli Trap Hentai that involves a 10-13 year old boy and his sexual experiences.It's really gross.I apologize for startling him, though after seeing his shirt I'm really not, and start emptying my bin. He goes back to "looking" at the sheets but I can see him trying to look at me every now and again.Now, I've worked Retail before and we're trained to recognize social cues for when a Customer might need our help. As much as I didn't want to get anywhere near this guy, He smelled like BO and Cat piss, my Customer Service training got the better of me.Gator: Is there anything Specific you're looking for?I'll never forget his answer.Liftbeard: Do you guys have any [Insert Loli Trap Anime title here] sheets?Gator: I.. I'm sorry?Liftbeard: Its an anime. But you probably don't know what that is.He gives me this scoff and a wave like he was brushing me off. I did go through an Anime phase in highschool, I watched mostly the mainstream ones though. (Death Note, Black Butler, Free! ect.) And while I have fallen out of watching it religiously like I used to, I did still enjoy the occasional episode of My Hero (PLUS ULTRA!) now and then.I made the poor decision of defending myseld.Gator: Anime? You mean like Ouran Host Club? Or what about Hellsing? Soul Eater? I bet you'd like Madoka Magica.The Beard gaped like a fish, and with my best C.S. smile I grabbed my bin and rolled away to the other side of Domestics. I maybe got to Kitchen Gadgets when I feel the ground shake. Glasses come falling off their shelves and people dive to the floor as the building quivers!...Okay, so none of that actually happened.But Liftbeard did almost knock over the display of Christmas Dinnerware as he tried chasing after me. He was yelling, "Wait!" and "Hold on!" as he waddled down the isle. I only stop because of habit.Gator: Yes? Can I help you with something?LB: huffing You watched all those anime?Gator: Yes?.. All except Madoka.LB: Oh. It appears I may have disappointed him. LB: Well. You still watched the others right? You've seen those?I try to keep the small talk small as I keep putting away my stuff. I am on the clock and we're not supposed to really talk about our personal lives with Customers. Is anime considered personal?I empty my bin and start going back to the Stock Room. All while Liftbeard is still talking to me. He follows me all the way to the doors where I have to stop and tell him,Gator: That's nice but I have to get back to work now.LB: What time do you get off?There was no way I was telling this guy when I got off of work. I had about half an hour left of my shift but I was not telling him that.Gator: I'm sorry I can't say that.His face falls like the weight if his jowels is too much.LB: Can I at least get your number?Gator: No.LB: Facebook?Gator: No.I'm inching my way through the back doors now, where a very big sign says "EMPLOYEES ONLY."LB: Insta-Gator: I'm sorry, Sir but I'm not allowed to give our personal information. Enjoy the rest of your day.I ducked into the back room as fast as I could, hiding behind racks of clothes and peeking out to see if he had left. I could see him looking through the window to try and find me (egh).I find Smokey and tell her about what happened, asking if I could take my fifteen then and then go back to pushing Home later.She lets me go and says she'll keep an eye out for Liftbeard in case he tries to come into the backroom. I tell her thanks and use the door closest to the break room to escape. Luckily, I don't see Liftbeard again for the rest of the day.Little did I know, this wouldn't be the end of my trying times with him.TL:DR: A neckbeard baits me into Anime talk at work, follows me around and tried to get my number via /r/talesofneckbeards https://ift.tt/2KH4s3v

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