HOCD or gay?


Hello NoFap. I have pmoed since i was around 11 (currently I am 15). It has always been straight porn, some lesbian and some straight hentai. Ever since August I have been suffering with the thought “Am I gay” and have had rly sexually explicit images of gay sex in my brain and it makes me feel awful(despite what the ocd tries to tell me). When I imagine gay sex with another man i don’t feel attracted rly at all. I have never gotten a boner from it ever, but i have whenever the sexual thoughts are about a girl. A thing that my OCD keeps latching onto is the fact that around i don’t know, like 2 and a half years ago i had this weird friend I hung out with a few times and i wouldn’t say I experimented but it was weird. I was playing xbox and he actually kissed me on the top of the head so i slapped him and said wtf are you doing? But later that night it got weird. He started laying on top of me for a bit and my mind tries to tell me i liked it and i don’t think i did, it was more of just a sort of weird thing. We never did anything sexual, (making out, bj, actual sex, etc) but this still haunts me and my ocd always goes back to this event and tries to make me feel that i like it, and i had a boner which i do not think is true. I think this all started because of my porn addiction but idk anymore. This OCD is driving me crazy! Any help would be greatly appreciated.EDIT: I am seeing a therapist, but am afraid to mention the thing about my friend to her. via /r/NoFap https://ift.tt/2zxsQQX

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