I watch porn and masturbate all the time - sometimes to comics - to the point I feel it negatively impacts my life.


I'm hoping that not a lot of people see this, just trying to get this off my chest because it bothers me. I was actually thinking about how much I jack off today because of Stan Lee's death - the first time I really remember masturbating was to this book that was basically a reference book of X-Men characters, and there was this one picture of Kitty Pryde in this black leather jacket, with her midriff showing, that I first remember finishing to.So I'm sorry if that's a bad visual image, but I jack off all the time. Usually just normal porn - like whatever's trending on Pornhub - but sometimes I'll go for weirder stuff, like Rule34 stuff and really kinky hentai. Like if I'm not doing anything, I'll just watch porn and jack off, and every night before I try to sleep I need to jack off again. Even if I'm not feeling a super strong "need", I'll just pull up some porn and start jacking off. I failed No Nut November, on first day, and probably 3-4 times too. Every now and then I'll hold off for a few days, but I soon as I feel like nothing in my life is changing, I'll start jacking off again.Now, I don't think jacking off is wrong in itself, but I feel like I clearly enjoy it too much. I grew up religious so I always felt a bit of guilt, but now that I do it so much, it just interferes with my life. It doesn't help that I also smoke a lot of weed, which is sometimes unpleasant because it gives me anxiety, but is also so overstimulating it feels pretty good. But it's not "real" - the first time I had sex, I didn't wear a condom, and I couldn't even finish, it was embarrassing.I just can't do anything else to fill up the time. I've had trouble getting a job (even though I went to college), and friends only hang out every so often once you're out of school (although I'm not usually proactive on that end either, not blaming them). The only thing that's been helping has been reading and writing and maybe music, but I don't have a ton of people to share that stuff with. It's sad that I'll "reward" myself with masturbation after I finish a section of a book or write a number of pages of anything, but it's the only thing that stops me from feeling depressed and bored all the time.I don't want to blame porn/masturbation for all my problems, but I'm fucking addicted, and I hate that. In college, it wasn't a problem since I was a part of so many different clubs, organizations, projects, and classes, I just didn't have time to masturbate. I even had a good job at the time, but now that I'm not really doing much in my life, most of the time I'll just enjoy porn/masturbation.If anyone's had this problem, I'd love to know how to get out, and not be so addicted to porn/masturbation. via /r/confession https://ift.tt/2JY4NOZ

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