my (25F) boyfriend (24M) taught me the meaning of "your partner should be your best friend"


TLDR; finally in a healthy relationship and it's such an amazing revelation. didn't know people were allowed to be this close to each other as partners.​man i had some really messed up ideas of what that sentiment meant. i got into relationships late, being asexual until i was 21 despite having boyfriends already at the time. every time i felt queasy about something with them, people would tell me “don’t think about it too much” or “that’s normal” and the like. i never could hold onto a relationship longer than 4months back then because i was kind of disturbed that THAT’S what it took to have a “good relationship”.so i got into the habit of just accepting that sometimes you have to hold your discomfort in for as long as you can until you get used to it. lying was ok as long as it made them feel better or didn’t hurt them, apparently. even one of my closer male friends told me “relationships don’t work out if you tell each other everything.”and with this guy i’m with now... everything changed. my whole world flipped upside down. from the minute we started going out officially he wanted to tell me about his dating history, his family relationship (which at the time was awful), porn he thought was interesting, etc etc. at first i was insulted, thinking he didn’t care about me enough to even hold back a little and didn’t care about my feelings. my emotional dam eventually broke and i told him all these stuff were hurting me.i just didn’t expect him to apologize tbh, and to try and change after that but sort of in the way where he admitted he wanted me to be just as open as him. fast forward and i feel like i’m the happiest i’ve been with someone. it’s not like a nervous blissful honeymoon like before, it’s like a comfortable “i can’t wait to see him when i get home” sort of feeling. a “i’m having fun with other people right now but it would be better if he could be enjoying this too” feeling. we make fun of each other and sometimes i like to roll over him while he games to be annoying, and sometimes he hides in doorways or stands facing a corner and scares the sh*t out of me.we share all our dumb secrets with each other. he talks about hentai (which i call him a weeb for) and i tell him about creepy foot fetish stuff i find while scouring on pornhub. i talk to him about my exes when something important comes to mind and he does the same. everyday we swap memes and i’m slowly converting him into thinking possums are cute. we have a lot of “i knew you were a furry” jokes and i even sold my art at a great family friendly “furry” event just so he’d be forced to come and support me while watching 30yr old dudes don fursuits(we both ended up having an awesome wholesome time). i support him admitting he likes being a trap, and taught him how to choose makeup and foundation to complement his skin tone. i also secretly bought his mom a present she wanted so that they had a reason to repair their relationship again.i didn’t know you were allowed to be openly supportive or upset or happy or dismissive or excitable around someone like this. he really does just seem like one of my best friends. we’ve been together over a year and i still get as excited to see him as when we first started dating and he has traveled cities to show me he supports me too. i guess sometimes complete honesty isn’t a bad thing? for the first time i feel like a whole person and it’s... amazing.​my advice even though im a novice at this "long term" relationship thing: introduce the idea that neither of you should be ashamed of the other. if you are feeling insecure or unsure about something, tell them, and if they ask the same of you be just as honest. you are each other's role models for a good partner. via /r/relationships https://ift.tt/2BffTMT

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