Should I (25 F) compromise for my relationship with BF (22 M)? Or am I being unfair?


I (25 F) am on a fork path on my relationship with my BF (22 M). While coming back from a trip, on the plane, he finally made it clear something that was on his mind for months: he didn't like the fact that I look at other people around myself.​It might be hard to explain, but I've always done this. And it's not like I sit down and start staring. But if I'm about my business and something catches my eye, I normally look. But if the person is just pretty, I normally look away. But it's almost unconscious and not just because of their looks, it can also be because of a trait that I find different and start to analyse. I'm graduated on Cinema and was a writer. I don't write so much nowadays for many reasons, but I was trained to actively do this while in college.​So I look at someone that could be a character and instantly setup a setting for them. It's similar to people who draw and do pictures of other people without them realizing. I am also a fan of Sherlock Holmes' deductions so I attempt to do that sometimes (my BF said that this wasn't so much a problem). But he hates the fact that I normally end up doing this with people who would be considered attractive.​Looking at other people is also part of who I am as a person. I'm pansexual, I like hentai, etc, and I didn't even want a closed relationship in the beginning. I lived hell in my last relationship, it was abusive, I had no freedom at all, I could barely look forwards, I had to keep my head down - literally - I had to be the good wife, although I was shamed for my past (because I just wasn't virgin), and he controlled everything. There was physical violence, although I retaliated, and even a degree of rape. I had two tattoos for him, he had none . I knew I never wanted anything like that ever again, so I praise freedom like the air that I breathe.​However... I don't know what to do here. I love my current BF and I've never met a man as sweet as him, but could I change this in myself again? I had to do the same thing for that last relationship and it was like chains in my wrists, and like my mind was been controlled (I had to report to him if I looked at anyone in the street). I have some serious PTSD and panic attack and I don't even trust therapy anymore because the one I went to didn't tell me I was in an abusive relationship.​The reason why this bothers him so much is because he lived betrayal with his ex, and he also doesn't feel a lot of confidence in himself, not so much physically at least. His parents never gave him support with this. Always telling him he should lose some weight and the like. Although I love him deeply in every way and didn't want to be with someone else.​We are trying to talk about it, but it's getting harder and harder. He can't find a solution for his part. So what do I do?Should I compromise or just break up?? He was the best person I've ever met and we do have a lot in common. But I'm not sure if my depression will resurface if I do compromise, just to drown me again. I'm afraid I should be with someone more flexible and free. But it would kill me to lose him. Honestly I don't think I'd be interested in having anyone again.​Thank you so much if you read all this, I really need help. I know it might be complicated to explain in a short post, but ask me anything you need to understand better.​TLDR: Should I (F) compromise something that's part of me - looking at other people - because my BF is insecure? via /r/relationship_advice https://ift.tt/2zUBYOV

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