Asexual or nofap? Long story inside


20 years old male, virgin (and I don't think it's a problem, there were too much problems in my youth to depress myself over it; pals always laughted at me, although this never convinced me to say "I should go with the first one/with a hooker"). As I said, I had some economical and social problems in my teenager years, so a relationship was the last of my desires (especially because I was afraid to annoy, I did found some aestaticastly pleasing girls but I wasn't interested - and I was distracted by other things). Sometimes I wanted an engagement, at least a romantical/emotional support; I don't mind sex however girls I imagined to fall in love with weren't chosen on "appealing", I honestly don't remember if I ever imagined having sex with them but I definitely confirm it wasn't the first reason of my attraction.In the meantime, as an ugly duckling during middle/high school, treated as a retarded because physically clumsy (many factors, overweight and a medical slowness of my eyes) I found out porn (maybe 13-14, although I was masturbating, unkwonwingly \lol\, since I was a kid) and maybe I became addicted to it, especially in the last year because I did explore categories/fetish sometimes extreme for a common heterosexual guy (futanari/shemale hentai for examples), "normal" porn didn't catch me anymore that much. However masturbation has always being a kind of distress or something made to pass time if I'm bored. I wasn't interested in relantioship because I repeated myself I wasn't "ready", there were more interesting guys than me, however I don't know if it was a excuse for not wanting to challenge myself.The fact is that recently I improved myself a lot, through study and fitness, I opened me and I became a social guy with great friends (sorry, I'm usually modest but it's kind of victory towards those who were a real shit with me). Anyway, my psichologist argues "relationship block" persists, I'm not so interested in gals irl, they seems more interested in sex than in anything else, although many have showed sort of attraction for me (someone mistook me for gay because I don't want to fuck/I treat girls only as friends)I stumbled across the definition of asexuality some months ago and I think I can relate (in fact, you could beat your meet and be asexual at the same time) however my "porn addiction" obstacles my sexual orientation, maybe I only idolized porn too much that I can't recognize beauty irl (it's not my case, I distinguish persons according to aestatich, however they are all the same for me). I don't what to think, it's not a lifesaving question, I'm only curious, I even developed an intimate friendship with a girl from my university I really like (and she's asexual too),Thanks in advance! Sorry for being quite rude, I'm not a native speaker ;_; via /r/asexuality https://ift.tt/2rFGtcl

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