Can anyone help me navigate these recent online dating fiascos?

I have a lot of niche interests. MST3k (and giving the MSTie treatment to bad movies), 90s anime and hentai, I spend a lot of time on reddit, video games. I've had a lot of guys get really excited about me online and over text, and it's at the point where I explicitly ask them to temper their expectations because I am human and not a Manic Pixie Dream Girl. I present online very well, but I'm a fucking mess and the first date is always like a facefull of brick wall.I recently had a date with a very sweet guy with Asperger's. We talked on the phone several times before meeting and it went so smoothly and he fell so hard. I tried to reign him in but nope, I was the very embodiment of everything he wanted. We talked about some very personal things, like finally being out on our own again after living with our parents on our thirtieth birthdays. Of little things being something to be celebrated. I was still so hesitant. He told me he had made up his mind about me.He wasn't nervous on the phone telling me he was in the parking lot of the restaurant. There was optimism in his voice, and hunger. Why wouldn't there be? I was it.I was the Tyra Banks poster in Justin's closet in 1998. I was the Marilyn Manson poster on Terry's wall in 1999. I was something ephemeral and perfect.And then he met me.The rest, the rest is just pebbles on pebbles until an avalanche. It ended contentiously, with me asking if he was attracted to me and him sputtering about ways to say "no". Oh god, I've replayed this in my mind again and again. It's mortifying.I don't connect often. It kills a part of me to expose myself and have this happen.I delete people from my contacts who I feel I'm gonna text firstI need someone to talk to. please.If someone would just blow up my phone via /r/BPD

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