Can you help me? My last chance.


Hi everyone, I NEED YOUR HELP! First of all sorry for my english it's not my first language. I made a post sometime ago about it just one guy answered. I need as much opinions i can get about it. I noticed too if someone writes a big text ppl kinda give up on reading it. So i'm gonna try my best to keep it short. I've been trying nofap for about a year, always failing in 10, 20 days. But i discovered a lot of things about me while doing it so. This time i wanna make it so i need your help. I have problems with erection, homossexual thoughts, specially with shemales duo to years of porn, although i know i'm straight by nature. While having sex i can't give my 100% anymore. I wanna give up on porn forever. I wanna have a better sex life, get a girlfriend and reduce my adhd if possible and obliterate my anxiety. I wan't to do the monk mode for 100 days. This is what i have in mind at the moment: - No porn - No masturbation - No fantasizing, if it happens don't let it pass 10 secs. - No sex, no kissing and if hugging pretty girls try not to feel excited in a sexual way. - No tv/social media/movies/ try not to stay all the time on the cellphone - No alcohol, no drugs and no cigars - No music - No video games - Hit the gym as much as i can. Read everyday if possible, meditation. Cold showers. Healthy diet, no sugar and only drinking water. If i watch videos it will only be constructive documentaries and self help stuff like that. So basically i wanna turn into a Super Sayian God. This is where i need your help. What exactly is the Monk mode? You can make your own rules or there are some that you gotta follow otherwise it's a relapse? I have some questions if possible PLEASE answer it: 1 - If i fantasize, it means i relapsed the monk mode? Sometimes you can't help but fantasize without even noticing, and when u noticed u got a bonner. So i wanna try not to focus on the fantasy, if my mind brings something i'll just try to let it pass. But fantasizing at all imagining with details is a relapse?2 - music, i'm addicted to it, while at the streets i let it at full volume, i daydream a lot and it kinda makes me escape reality, making me ignore my surroundings and people. If music is sad i feel like crying, my emotional state is fucked. Should i not listen to music? What about calm music only to meditate and while running at the gym, and classical like mozart to read? Or no music at all in my case? I like to listen to traditional heavy metal, rock n roll, blues and movie and anime soundtracks.3 - Videos. Should i avoid it of any kind? Like movies. or can i still watch documentaries and self help videos on youtube? and anime? Not hentai, anime like dbz and naruto etc... Or during the monk mode better not?4 - there is a manga called vagabond, wich helped me in my life back then because of its amazing story, i wanted to read again, the only problem is that it has some sexual content, no genitals but ppl making love, niples only etc... its realistic manga. is it ok or i shouldnt read it while on monk mode? Its rare these scenes but they show it.5 - Last one but not less important. There is this girl i like so much she is about to come see me during the beginning of 2019. For 6 days. If it happens i will have sex and go out and drink alcohol and eat fast food stuff like that. If i make till there after she leaves will i have to start all over again? Or continue with the numbers after she leaves? I really wanna know it. Me seeing her is a dream coming true and very important for me. Just wanna make sure i do the right thing.So that's it. I just wanna make sure i won't relapse without even noticing. I wanna change my life and make the right thing now. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Thanks. via /r/NoFap https://ift.tt/2zFK5PY

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