Don't know what to do

So I just fapped to a Hentai called Kuroinu. It is a pretty famous hentai around the community and it is a dark fantasy and contains a lot of rape, etc. While I didn't fap to the most messed up stuff. I fap to a scene where an elf gets gangbang raped. While it is a lighter version of rape and in the end, she gets used to it. It is rape, and it is fucked up. And you know when I finished I don't feel sad or nothing. There is a hole inside me. How did I get to this point? I am scared of going outside and harm people and the idea of it scares me to death. I want to be a better version of my self but oh boy it is difficult. I don't know, I just want to say all this to at least somebody. So I am posting here. Please guys tell me that I am an sane person. via /r/NoFap

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