I was one of the worst most digusting incels you could ever possibly imagine and looking back I cannot even believe it was a chapter in my life

Flashback to 2015. I'm 18 years old now , turning 19 shortly.It was my sophomore year in high school , I spent 100% of every single day locked in my bedroom playing runescape and talking to a small toxic group of friends. A day wasn't complete if I hadn't shouted the N word with a hard R 50+ times and made 100s of tasteless, 4chan /POL/ esque offensive jokes. I was a regular on /b/ and quickly adopted the dehumanizing ideology around women that 4chan has always fostered long before the incel movement. On my desk sat an ipod touch with kik open where I would message hundreds of girls having your typical "nice guy" encounters. Gallon jugs , gatorade bottles , glasses, and fast food cups filled with urine surrounded me as far as the eye could see, the same went for empty or sometimes not-so-empty food containers. The stench of my room was so foul i was required to put a towel under the door to block the odor from permeating the rest of the house. I hadn't had a shower in over 6 months and my 20+ inches of hair were so greasy , knotted and unkempt i had begun prematurely balding , semen crusted my thighs and hands , the stains bleaching my boxer briefs that were rock solid and crunched with every movement. My long dirty disgusting fingernails slammed away at the keyboard while i typed hateful messages to other players , my shitty outdated computer whirring in protest as it tried to process a video game + hundreds of 4chan threads and tabs of porn and hentai open, I was masturbating north of 7 times a day. And most notably of all at only 6'2 I weighed a staggering 330 LBS , the folds of my fat had begun to scale and layers of dead skin were flaking and peeling off. I resented women and I resented my peers , wherever they may be (as i was homeschooled at this point, but not doing any of my schoolwork and failing) for having friends , having sex , having fun and falling in love. I was like the grinch at the top of the mountain watching all the whos enjoy their lives and I was absolutely 100% truly miserable. Fastforward to present day, still 6'2 but only 200 Lbs , I have a job, a drivers license , tons of acquaintance level friends and some amazing close friends, I'm getting my associates degree , and as im sure you're all wondering.. I have a very beautiful, smart, funny and unique girlfriend who has actually never been with anyone before me and is not a "used up roastie settling for betabux". My friends and I make music in our spare time. Somewhere along the way I managed to not only lose my virginity but sleep with 8 girls and have incredibly meaningful relationships with 2 of them, I shower every day, my room is pristine clean and my relationship with myself, parents , peers , family , women , and others in general has never been better. Inceldom is complete and utter bullshit, if I can come back from this anyone can come back from anything, I was subhuman, I was my own ecosystem of bacteria and hatred yet somehow I manage to function now as well as if not better than most of my peers and have had nothing but success romantically since I decided to get in shape and stop my toxic behavior. This is not a fucking cope you idiots this is not chad preaching this is not bluepill , I was one of you. Shut the fuck up and stop pitying yourself for two fucking seconds , pick your ass up and fix the things about yourself that need fixing. I promise you I was worse off than 95% of people who "blackpill" and take in incel propoganda and I am completely positively fine now. Forget sex even exists and for gods sake fix yourself for your own sake , all of you who think this way need it. This is a true story spoken by someone who was more of an incel than any of you will ever be before the term was even popular. I was /R9K/, I am now a functioning member of society. Change now or waste the only life you have. via /r/confession https://ift.tt/2zY9i8B

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