Keeping Up With The Revolution Ep. 8 (THE CLASH OF THE STEVOLUTION)

BestInBounds is doing some work in the office, he keeps looking at a female coworker who sits in front of himBiB: “Hey Jill, what do you say we go to that nice Japanese place, and get some Bukkake?”Jill just looks at him confusedBiB: “It’ll be great, we can invite Gail and Gale over for a nice little foursome!”Jill smacks BiB before storming into HR, only to find LionTamer there, half-asleepLionTamer: “What seems to be the issue?”Jill: “It’s BestinBound.”LionTamer: “He do the Bukkake thing?”Jill: “Yes. And th-”LionTamer: “Fuckin’ Nice.”LionTamer is facing the camera in a separate roomLionTamer: “I’ve been telling BiB certain phrases, seemingly innocent things, with… wrong meanings. To you know ‘help’ him with picking up girls. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I want him to be happy...*LionTamer looks out the window only to see BiB getting smacked by Jill before she storms out of the officeLionTamer: “...but I just can’t help myself”It cuts back to BiB just after getting smackedBiB: “Why can’t people be more like my 2D girls… they’re so simple… and agreeable*A Coworker looks at BiBCoworker: “And fake…”BiB: “YOU TAKE THAT BACK”Steve is sitting in his office the Hardcore Title pinned on the front of his desk when TooRare, BestInBounds, and LionTamer walk into the officeTooRare: “Yo Steve, that’s a nice looking title ya got there.”Steve: “What about it?”LionTamer: “Well we were just thinkin in the break room that maybe we should…”BiB: “Have a match for it, you know, some friendly competition.”Steve: “Fuck it, you guys know any places we can force our bullshit in?”LionTamer throws a poster on Steve’s desk for 3CW: The Fight Before ChristmasSteve: “Let’s dance.”A Ring Announcer stands in an otherwise empty ringRA: “The following contest is our MAAAAIN EVENT! And it is for… THE LLR HARD. CORE. CHAMPIONSHIP!”Maggle: “Wait why are we here?”Yenee: “Because the writer doesn’t know enough indie announcers Maggle.”The crowd cheers as Besty’s music plays, and BiB swaggers down the ramp with a cocky smile, duffle bag in hand. A kid motions to high five him, BiB ignores him. He climbs the stairs and hops up on the turnbuckle, surveying the Arena. He then sits down on the turnbuckle and pulls out a magazine of his. He reads in wonder of the cowgirl who was reversed, the style based on a dog and something about a missionary. He puts the magazine away and awaits his fellow Stevolutionaries.Maggle: “And that right there is the lewd one, BEST IN BOUNDS!”Yenee: “Lewd? Do you even know what that means Maggle?”Maggle: “Look Yenee, I’m just reading the script I was given.”The arena darkens once more, and LionTamer’s music plays as he enters wearing an old school Revolution T-Shirt screaming “shut up” to fans yelling“Steveolution” at him. He proceeds down the ramp, slides in the ring, nods to BiB, and lays back against the turnbuckle, with a bag of his own, starts pumping himself in his cornerYenee: “There’s my pick to win this all! He’s beat Civ on one of his first matches! I think this’ll be his shining moment!”TooRare’s Theme hits, TooRare walks out with his bag over his shoulder, lighting a smoke, wearing a Stevolution shirt with the St crossed out and R drawn in what looks like marker. TooRare slowly walks to the ring, purposely drawing his entrance to 5 minutes to finish is smoke. TooRare places his bag of goodies in the top rope he starts fiddling with things inside of his bagThe Crowd starts chanting out “TOORARE! TOORARE! TOORARE!” And TooRare nods in rhythm with their chantsThen, Steve’s Music hits and outcomes… some random guy with a microphonePerson: “Ladies and Gentlemen I’m sorry to waste your time from seeing your Champion, but he asked me, yes me, to introduce him. So…. introducing LLRs Best Kisser, The Biggest, Babyface who was a Heel at the time, The Hater of Olives, He’s Sponsored by Coca-Cola, Probably thinks your wife is hot, Kinda Good at Shit Talk, Hates Robots, Might be able to play the guitar, The Masked Wrestler without a Mask, Your Favorite Predictors Favorite Predictor, He’s The Star of the Show! STEEEEEVE CHANDLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!”Steve’s music resumes, and he comes out with a duffle bag, and twenty bucks that he gives to his announcer before the guy rushes into the crowd. Steve enters the ring, and raises up his Hardcore Title, to a cheer from the fansMaggle: “And there is the champ himself! Steve Chandler”Yenee: “Did that guy just say he’s LLRs Best Kisser?”Maggle: “Why you wanna try out his theory?”Yenee just laughs uncomfortablyThe Referee enters the ring and calls for the bell and all Steve, BiB, and TooRare all start digging into their bags. LionTamer dashes at Steve with a dropkick, sending him into the turnbuckle, and LionTamer follows up with a quick roll up for a quick one count. TooRare turns around with a clipboard, hitting LionTamer in the back with it. BestinBounds reaches into his bag and pulls out some nunchucks. He starts threateningly using them like a master of the craft, cracking TooRare in stomach doing the same to LionTamer. Steve stands up and sees Besty doing this he runs to his bag, grabbing a quarterstaff. Steve starts spinning it around also like a master. BestInBound and Steve start attacking each other with their weapons blocking each other moves perfectly neither one of them able to get the upper hand.Maggle: “These two! Neither of them able to stop each other!”Yenee: “Holy cow! Who knew these two could even do this kind of combat?”LionTamer starts to stand up, and watches Steve and Besty go at it for a bit, TooRare eventually doing the same. LionTamer and TooRare make eye-contact before the two take out Steve and BestinBounds’ legs, LionTamer nailing Steve with a Lionsault, and TooRare hits Besty with a leg dropYenee: “It’s only natural the tag team of the group uses their natural chemistry against those two”Maggle: “That’s correct, but the question is how long will their chemistry last?”LionTamer and TooRare share a high-five before LionTamer grabs TooRare by the arm hitting him with a lariatYenee: “Little under a minute.”LionTamer picks up Steve and throws him into a turnbuckle before Besty stands up but gets the same treatment as Steve. TooRare gets up and is met with the same! LionTamer looks around and hits the three with a dropkick after a dropkick each of them laying chest up towards the ceilingThe crowd begins to chant “LION-TAMER *Clap x5” over and over! LionTamer begins up the turnbuckle closest to Steve, hitting Steve with a double foot-stomp. LionTamer rolls through the move and goes to the corner opposite of Steve, with BestinBounds laying there, he nails Besty with a second double foot stomp*Yenee: “LionTamer is on FIRE! Let’s see if he can capitalize on this!”LionTamer going for the same moves to TooRare, but TooRare moves to the side. TooRare rolls up a stunned LionTamer, for a speedy two count. TooRare stands up LionTamer and throws him to the ropes, but LionTamer hops over the ropes only to be met by TooRare with a spear through the ropes!Maggle: “Oh my god! That could’ve taken out those two from the match!”Steve and BestInBound start to get up, Steve getting up first laying a quick punch to Besty, but BestinBound hits Steve in the face with a… HENTAI MAGAZINE! Steve reacts disgusted, selling it like he was hit with a brass-knuckled punch. BestInBound shoves the magazine near Steve forcing him to fall back, trying not to get hit by it. The crowd begins to chant “YOU SICK FUCK, YOU SICK FUCK, YOU SICK FUCK.” As BestInBound hits Steve with it once more.Maggle: “I don’t get it. It’s just a magazine.”Yenee: “It’s not about what it is, it’s about where it’s been.”Yenee lets out an audible gagOutside of the ring TooRare starts to stand up and he reaches under the ring and pulls out a table. The crowd cheers at this and TooRare goes back into the ring with the table.BestinBound looks at TooRare and goes for a swing with the magazine, but TooRare no-sells it. TooRare shouts, “YOU THINK THAT DISGUSTS ME?!?” TooRare clocks Besty in the head, Besty falling onto the ring. TooRare starts to set up the table in the corner, when a loud, “TooRare… i-it’s me!” rings through the arena.TooRare looks around confused when it’s followed up with, “TooRare it’s me, your dad!” TooRare abandons the ring and looks for the sound, only to see Steve holding the mic to a random fan who has a ten dollar bill in hand.Maggle: “Now that’s just sick and cruel!”Yenee: “It’s a hardcore match Maggle, anything goes!”TooRare looks angry and charges at Steve sending him crashing through the barricadeIn the ring, BestinBound stands back and looks at the table, and back to LionTamer. Besty exits the ring and tosses LionTamer back in, he grabs LionTamer and throws him into the ring. BestInBound stands the table up proper, moving it away from the cornerBestInBound up, and goes for a powerbomb through the table, but THE TABLE NO-SELLS THE MOVE. LionTamer just falling off the table. The crowd shouts loud, “I AM THE TABLE,” and a man named Fammew in the audience is smiling wildly.Maggle: “I… still don’t get it…”Yenee: “Really haven’t learned have you?”Maggle: “I have a life, Yenee.”BestinBounds shrugs, and pins LionTamer, One! Two! Th- No! Kick out at two and a half! TooRare starts to stir, and stands up entering the ring once more, picking himself up with the ropes.BestinBound once again gets Steve with a swift kick. BestInBound reaches into his bag, and pull out… A QUESTIONABLY STAINED BODY PILLOW! He places it on the table before giving it a gentle kiss. Besty picks up Steve and SEND HIM CRASHING THROUGH THE BODY-PILLOW COVERED TABLEThe crowd once again begins chanting, “YOU SICK FUCK, YOU SICK FUCK, YOU SICK FUCK” as Besty pins Steve. One! Two! Thr- NO! Steve just barely kicks out!Maggle: “HOW IN THE WORLD DID STEVE MANAGE TO GET OUT. IT MUST’VE BEEN PURE INSTINCT”Yenee: “Or a pillow cushioned his fall…”TooRare slinks back into the ring, and sees the carnage, he gives Besty a kick to the chest. He searches for his bag, getting a bag of tacks. He reaches his hand in and spills some on the ground. TooRare calls for a fan to toss him a chair, and several fans oblige one hitting LionTamer in the head.TooRare sets up a chair and sits Steve down on it before dumping the remaining thumbtacks in Steve’s mouth. TooRare follows up with a swift uppercut forcing Steve to spew some thumbtacks out of his mouth. Before getting the rest of them out, TooRare picks up Steve once more, and he HITS STEVE WITH A FAMOUSER ON THE THUMBTACKS! The crowd screams “HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT!” TooRare goes for the pin… One! Two! Three!Ring Announcer: “Here is your winner! AND NEWWWWWW HARDCORE CHAMPIOON! TOORAREEEEE!”The crowd cheers and a tired TooRare raises his Hardcore title up high. via /r/LoserleavesReddit

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