Ran blog 12/3: on sex and consciousness

I rarely read long articles anymore, but I had a big block of time yesterday in which I was stuck somewhere with literally nothing to do but stare at my phone. So I read that long-ass article u/ranprieur linked yesterday on young people and sex. I sent the link to my lady (whom some of you might remember; she used to post here), who also read it and we talked about it last night.​My immediate thought is that if young people are having less sex, it's almost 100% because they're holding off on monogamous relationships, so the sex they're having is a little more catch as catch can. This line of thinking was addressed at some point in the article. I ALSO think that young people are having more casual sex than ever. One thing I discovered after I split up with my wife is that the hookup scene is better than ever, because the stigma attached to first date sex has basically disappeared... especially for young women. It's gone from "you slut" to "girl power!" My lady, who is much younger than I, confirms this.​A potential dark underbelly: I think pre-marital promiscuity is making it harder for people to be content with a single partner. Another thing I discovered, by accident at first and then I'll admit I pursued it intentionally for awhile, is that married women in their 20s and early 30s tend to be VERY open to extra-marital affairs. I can only assume the men are cheating as well.​But maybe not. One thing the author avoided addressing directly is the tinder 80/20 rule, which tinder has confirmed in it's own studies. The hookup culture overwhelmingly favors one gender, and this is what has fueled the development of fucked-up groups like Incels and MGTOW. On Tinder it's all about looks, and in meatspace it's mostly about balls and swagger. Net result: 20% of the men really are hooking up with 80% of the women, and I suspect the real numbers may be worse. Most young men are terrible at negotiating this landscape, and in thirty more years I expect to see a lot of single senior citizens.​One thing the author goes into that I have not observed: the notion that approaching somebody personally is deemed creepy. Maybe in big-city environments that's happening? I think the truth is that young people THINK it will be perceived as creepy, so they don't try. My lady chimes in by saying that guys her age are immature and have "no balls", and this matches my own observations. I don't know if this is the case in urban environments (I suspect not; online I see an increasing stigmatization of age gaps in relationships), but out here in the rural north I am seeing an increased incidence of younger women with older men. I know one guy who is a douchebag roadie in his 50s with no real skills who is constantly hooking up with women half his age. He even stole a family for awhile; a woman in her early 30s who makes insane money and has three kids divorced her husband (who also makes insane money) and married him. It didn't last, but it illustrates the point. I'm with a much younger woman, and so is another man I know who is only a few years younger than me. And this is in a town where single young men grossly outnumber single young women.​As regards masturbation... the best argument I have ever heard against it is that you masturbate because you're not having sex. So by continuing to masturbate, you are avoiding the real problem. Go forth and have sex! Of course, there's absolutely nothing wrong with masturbation. But are people using it in an unhealthy way? I suspect this is the case.​Porn... ye gods. My fifteen year old niece made a hentai reference with her parents in the room a few weeks back. One of her other uncles was making a crack about octopuses and she broke in saying "i know where this is going from hentai!" Then she remembered my sister and her husband were in the room and got REAL quiet. Lucky for her... my sister thought it was funny. She and I were talking about it later. If we'd had access to the modern internet at age fifteen? God protect and keep us. I can still remember when dumpster porn was a thing. We had to WORK to see that shit, you know? Now it's everywhere. I have to think it can't possibly be healthy. Unrealistic expectations, fucked up caricatures, and an ever-increasing threshold of kinkiness because the constant exposure makes vanilla sex seem boring. I mean, Jesus. My 15 year old niece watches hentai.​Oh, and by the way... does anyone actually try choking, facial ejaculation, and anal sex the first time with a new partner? Jesus Christ, man. Jesus Christ.​I'm not sold on Ran's explanation. Emotional messiness? Guys, it's just sex. Let's not make it a bigger thing than it is. It's a means of reproduction and a recreational activity; it is NOT a holy sacrament. Plus, I'm not sold on increased emotional intelligence. I think modern young people in general and young men in particular are carrying around an unprecedented level of emotional immaturity.​Stray thought: the trend towards later families is a mistake,at least for women. The evidence that it's healthiest to have your kids young is overwhelming. I've even seen one study that linked having babies starting at age 16 and breastfeeding them leading to a reduced incidence of breast cancer in later life.​Moving on to consciousness: if you check out some of the modern literature on neuroscience, these scientists don't think consciousness is a problem at all. More than ever, the evidence is pointing to brain == mind. Which means that consciousness is a purely biological thing, and does not exist outside of it.​Let me throw this at you... I'm an EMT, and have also worked with the developmentally disabled. I see firsthand, all the time, changes in physiology affect consciousness, and sometimes permanently. Your blood sugar goes below 60, you suddenly have an altered mental state. I shoot some glucagon in your leg, and you come back. We regularly transport a guy with alcoholic brain damage. He's basically gone... a vegetable. No going back. Why are most CPR efforts abandoned after 30 minutes or so? Because chest compressions are no substitute for a beating heart when it comes to keeping the brain oxygenated, and after a certain amount of time it's pointless to go on because even if we get you back you'll be hopelessly brain-damaged. Or what about a kid born with Downs? When I worked with DD people, there was a client I will refer to as Bradly with Downs syndrome. He died, and his mom said to me once that she can't wait to get to heaven and meet the real, unimpaired Bradly. I didn't say so of course, but give me a break. What you saw there WAS BRADLY. That's all he was. If the consciousness exists in some sort of detached state from the body, how come it's so immediately and directly affected by changes to the body? And then you expect me to believe that this same consciousness will survive the death of my body?​​ via /r/ranprieur https://ift.tt/2Sr7Wdb

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