TIFU by watching hentai with a giant mirror behind me.


Happened like 5 minutes ago so no obligatory not today. So it’s Christmas, meaning the whole family heads up the hill to grandpas mansion to look at pictures with every family member combination imaginable and listen to all the old people tell racist jokes from the 50s. Grandpa was a business guy who lives in a big fuck off mansion that is still immaculate thanks to the fantastic work of the illegal immigrants who he hypocritically insults and says they’re stealing jobs. Everybody hangs around in the main hall before we split up into the tables of the old people, Jewish people, old Jewish people, cousins (COUSIN GANG), and the strays. I tend to sit at one of the bars in the corner looking at reddit, but I failed to notice a key thing in the corner. For some reason, this bar has a huge mirror that is super clean and can be seen from pretty much anywhere. So there I am browsing r/nintendowaifus looking for my fav boi Link and some other shit when I turn to my side to pluck a nut from the bowl of nuts left on the bar when I notice that giant mirror. After a few seconds of looking at the mirror and seeing people behind me, I look at myself, my eyes drifting down to my phone, where within about two milliseconds I realize anybody looking at the mirror could see my anime tiddies. First, I needed to close my hentai, a simple push of the home button meant I was done with that. Next, I needed to scout out and see who saw what. The tables were already beginning to fill up. The old people table had been filled up already, talking about war stories or other stuff, good. The Jewish table was scattered still, but they seemed to all be looking away. The old Jewish table was empty, it’s occupants to be nowhere to be seen. I’d need to watch out for old Jewish ninja hentai-hunters. Then the strays, who were surprisingly already at their table, having a conversation with my dad about the wine he brought. Finally, the dreaded. The cousins. Obviously, fate dictated that at least one of them had seen. After scanning the crowd, my eyes locked with one of my female cousins, and we both immediately knew (if I see any ‘roll tide’ comments you’ll be drinking pizza through a straw). I now have to go down and join my cousin table. Wish me luck brus.TL;DR I watched hentai on my phone with a giant mirror behind me and I have to now sit at the cousin table with people who know and saw me. via /r/tifu http://bit.ly/2BG3v7A

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