Andy Richter: The Unauthorized Biography

Andy grew up as a gay child. When he was just born, his cock was five feet long. It grew much bigger every second when he was very young. Andy liked to masturbate to Johnny Carson, Jay Leno and Richard Simmons. His dick got very hard, and much longer. When Andy was the age of five years old, he started his first day of school, with a twenty mile long cock hiding in his pants. He always fucked the kids in the classroom, and splooged on the teacher, and he's destroyed some school propety with his large cock. Things were getting out of control. Andy fucked about 5,000 kids at his school and the kids got all horny and fucked everything in the school, and then they cummed all over eachother and made a swimming pool in their school of cum. When Andy was 10 years old, he liked to poop on his dad all day. In fact, Andy skipped lots of school because he wanted to stick dildos up his ass and poop on his Grandpa all day. When Andy was 11, he got this own computer with the Internet installed. Opie jacked off to Tonight Show hentai and Howard Stern scat porn. He couldn't stop. He couldn't go to sleep for almost a whole week, just sitting there, jacking off to the pornographic Tonight Show images on his computer. He couldn't stop! He started getting erections all the time from SpongeBob and The Cosby Show, so Andy visited the gay bar twice a day to strip for gay old men, and Andy received lots of money to buy dildos to stick up his ass all day. Andy was a gay stripper for twenty years. When Andy was about thirty-five, he was married with Sarah Thyre. Andy didn't want to be married with a woman, but Andy was tired of men for that period. But then Andy decided to fuck men instead of women, so he raped men every night when Sarah is sleeping. Andy does not want Sarah to know he rapes men at nighttime. Sometimes Andy raped William and Mercy in the ass all day, he said it was oodles of fun, so he did it all the time. Andy entered himself in the Boner Baseball League, and won every boner baseball game. He won the championship of the Boner Baseball League every year. Andy was sent to Barney's Penis World to play the worldwide Boner Baseball Superbowl! He did successful in this superbowl, and he even performed in the halftime show by doing magic tricks with his dick. via /r/opieandanthony

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