I Have Committed Fully To Over 2 Years of NoFap – And I Will Be Updating My Progress To Give Helpful Info

Hello everyone,I’ve been on this subreddit for a long time, now, and have posted a few times. As the title suggests, I just committed to over 2 years of NoFap (hard mode) last month. I have previously succeeded at 30, 60, 90, and 180 day streaks of NoFap, but I realized that I was just delaying jerking off for x amount of days and immediately fapped as soon as my streak was ended. Now, you may be immediately thinking to yourself, “Isn’t 2 years just the same as what you’ve been doing in the past, just a longer duration?” And the answer to that is ehh, kind of. My true goal, now, is to permanently eliminate fapping. Deep down, this was not the case on my previous streaks. Let me explain a little bit more, though.I am a person who has been fapping ever since around age 11 or 12. Got into really hardcore stuff super fast -- I was searching out and watching extreme hentai and incest fantasy shit around 14 for example. So, I’ve ended up deeply wired for porn (I’m 27 now, been trying to kick PMO addiction since around 21.) The reason I’ve now chosen 2 years of hard mode is due to this anecdote in the book Your Brain on Porn:“Just wanted to give some hope to those of you struggling with the mental ailments associated with this shit. For well over a year and a half, I haven’t been able to find joy in much of anything. Now, I’m beginning to feel music the way I used to. I can enjoy a conversation with a stranger instead of struggling through the social anxiety associated with itSimply put, as much hell as these past couple years have put me through, I am truly improving. This is SO clearly PAWS, or post-acute withdrawal syndrome. Absolutely no doubt. The ‘up and down’ nature of the symptoms, the slowwwwww nature of the recovery, and the symptoms themselves.”I believe that, even though I have gotten to the point that I can hit any streak that I want without issue (which took me around 3 years to get to that point – I failed multiple times at hitting 90 days before I actually got it) – I suspect I never truly rewired in any of my streaks, even 6 months. Because I don’t feel joy. I just don’t, everything is dull to me. The idea of talking/hanging out with people just lacks excitement, even when I’m not PMO’ing. I’m going back to school quite successfully right now for Medical Lab Science, and I really do enjoy it, but EVEN THIS is quite gray and blah to me oftentimes I have small moments of what MIGHT be joy, but they are few and far between. I feel exactly like the guy in the book; even music, which I love, has a drastically reduced effect for me these days. It’s fucking awful, and I want this shit done with.So, let me describe what I’ve been doing the past ~10 months. I gave up porn forever in February (but not masturbation). Like, literally no more porn for the rest of my life. I have legitimately not watched or looked at any porn since February 22. Nudity shows up sometimes accidentally, but I have always clicked away and never searched for it. This has been positive, I highly recommend trying this first if you're too afraid to give up masturbation altogether.I decided to try the PornFree route rather than NoFap in these last 6 months instead, because giving up masturbation altogether is terrifying, honestly. It’s like giving away the One Ring. I feel as though I should be able to control myself and exercise moderation if no porn is involved. I got to the point that I got a Fleshlight a couple months ago, and honestly, that didn’t even do it for me. Ended up throwing it away after a couple weeks. In fact, it was much the same pattern as when I used porn. I still ended up wasting time and not doing things that I wanted to do in order to masturbate -- like leaving school early to go home and jerk off rather than staying and getting all the studying done that I needed to. I’m also much less social when masturbating regularly.As such, I believe that to rewire, I need to give up PMO entirely to succeed. So, I’ve made a preliminary promise to go from 12/5/18 through 1/15/21 without PMO at all. No touching down there whatsoever except peeing and scratching itches. I hope that I will start to see genuine benefits during this time and develop the ability to extend my PMO free stretch even further than 2 years. I shouldn’t have to set a date range for myself to be PMO free, I should be able to do it without any need for a promised duration. Some say that drug addicts who abstain for 5 years are statistically very unlikely to relapse, and I want to be in that category. More importantly, I want to feel like I can live again.Anyway, my goal here is to log my experiences on this reddit at 0, 1, and 2 years post-start date and give tips and info as I find them. I will also be searching for an accountability partner in the next day or two. In the interest of readability and not making this post too long, I’m going to be making a couple of posts in the comments with my tips I have found most valuable, as well as my first update.Thank you for reading. Good luck, you are strong, you are valuable, and you will succeed in your own endeavors. via /r/NoFap http://bit.ly/2s4Dg6o

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